Saturday, September 10, 2011

Focus: Positivity

I am really really crazy. HAHA. I am not supposed to be blogging about this, but then, there's an urge of releasing what I really feel. Yes I need to, because if I don't, I will be always bothered, anxious, or whatever, and I don't want sudden anxiety attacks, puh-lease.


Well, here's the thing. I can really sense that one of my closest friends did back stab me. I am really not sure, but I know there is something between the two of us, there is tension. I just don;t want to elaborate about the story, but if that someone will be reading this, well then, I just want to say that, there is really that hard feeling, because I never thought that that's the way you think of me. We have known each other for a long time, and I can really say that you have really changed. I don't know why, but I don't want to just throw our friendship out of the door. And I do hope that you don't forget the super friends you have, and that's us, because we have the bigger part of your life. :') but of course as your super duper as in to the highest level friend, I still do love you of course, and I want us to rekindle the old friendship we had, and if possible, practice that. And I know that you are like "natamaan" with my words, I just thought that, if you are paranoid, you really did something for me to be like this. Well I just want to clear out that it is not you, so stop it.


And then there's this person I am irritated with. This person is like soooo craaaazy. I don't know ha, but if he/she thinks that I should not be above his/her standing, well then the floor is his/hers. I don't need that, I don't need legacy, I don't need to outshine or what, what I need is just to do my thing.


I am really tired of being bullied. I know sometimes I do hurt others feelings because of my so-called "katarayan" or "pang-o-okray", but of course I do have my limitations, I instantly say sorry, and I don't do the same thing over and over again (that's what I think about myself ha). But there is this one guy, I am really getting sick and tired of his f*cking attitude. If he is not capable of understanding other's feelings, then better shut his mouth. Or why not insult himself, well, based on the looks (i'm sorry) and the attitude, he should be the one insulted! :)


But then, I do need to get rid of the pessimism that I am bringing. I don't want to die at this age, and I don't want burdens anymore. I just want now to focus on my studies. I maybe in love, but I am not in a relationship (and as if I will be) and of course, I just want to focus with all the positive vibes Dear God is giving me. :)


Gone the days where I always put my self into negativity and pessimism. Optimistic, happy and positive days should start now. :)


Nasaan Ka, Elisa? This Monday after My Binondo Girl! :))




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