When your happiness becomes an issue to others.

May mga bagay na talagang sadyang nagpapasaya sa atin, whether it may be a person, people or a thing, or things. It might give us the entertainment we wished to have, or whatever satisfaction we like.

Ako, madami akong happiness sa buhay, pero sa tingin kong talagang nakakapagpasaya sa kin is watching Teleseryes, reading all about it, at lahat lahat na ng craziness na magagawa ko.

Eto lang naman yung mga CRAZINESS na yun eh. :)

1. Nangongolekta ako ng memorabilia, so far marami rami na siya.
2. Todo promote ako pag may bagong teleserye, pero di ko na siya masyadong ginagawa ngayon, plus nagGGM ako pag may palabas na bago, or next na. Yung susunod na, ginawa ko lang yun sa Magkaribal, Nasaan ka Elisa o kaya pag finale show.
3. Pinapanuod ko sa internet yung mga namimiss kong episodes ng show. Pero recently lang ako nagstart na talagang every night.
4. Nagbabasa ako ng mga tungkol sa Teleserye, pag may latest. Pero lagi ko siyang bukambibig, as in all the time.
5. Gumagawa ako ng sarili kong mga teleserye. Pangarap ko kaya maging writer.
6. Na-apply ko ang mga linya ng teleserye sa real life. Pag nanunuod ako lalo na ng Magkaribal, memorize ko na. Haha. :)

Sa pagkakaalam ko, yan lang naman ang ginagawa ko. Kaso nagiging issue na siya sa iba, mapasa school o sa bahay. I really don't know why, but I don't think naman that they're hindering my happiness, but the fact that it is an issue to them, it's just so plain shit. Walang pakialamanan diba. I know some are concerned, and they're telling me that it's too much. But honestly, I can't see anything wrong, I don't think it's too much. Unless nakasakit na ako, or worse nasaktan ko na sarili ko, like yakap ko na yung TV na bukas pagtulog.

May nagsabi sa akin na nakakaapekto na daw ang addiction ko sa iba. For example is that nagGM ako ng bagong TV show and they watched it because of me. Hello, I just did that to promote, not to command or dictate that you should watch it. Affecting others isn't my fault, it's theirs because they let themselves be affected or whatever, so clearly, I have no say with that. Of course gusto ko na mapanuod nila that's why I am promoting, but that doesn't mean they really have to watch it or what.

Next, ang Jologs na daw ng addiction ko. I am not hurt with that, but shit, don't you think that it's actually patriotism that is being practiced here? MyG! Watching foreign movies is good, but the fact that you insult your own country's works. Oo maaaring ang ideas natin minsan recycled na, but there is still that Philippine touch. And honestly, I do think that we are the best creators of soap operas. The other countries, all they know was fantasy and fantasy, suspense and suspense. Their love stories are cool, and our love stories may be repetitive. But whatever you say, ALL LOVE STORIES ARE THE SAME, JUST NEW PLOT, NEW SITUATION, but it's still A DAMN LOVE STORY!

Next, my school friends and I are talking about Teleseryes and the 1st of the 10 Commandments which is "You should not have other Gods besides me.". And they say that I am actually making Teleseryes my god alongside our Creator. Yes I know I am too addicted with soap operas, but I am not forgetting my obligations with Christ. Yes I know there are temptations that I don't like to attend mass because there's The Buzz and all, but at the end of the day, I am with God the Father, fulfilling my Sunday Obligation, loving and respecting God as who He is, and I pray every night, I don't replace God with other things, with Teleseryes or what. I know to myself that I never did that. :)

WHOO! Nailabas ko din lahat ng nasa puso ko. Grabe parang maiiyak ako habang sinusulat ko to. Eh kasi namin, I understand naman why are they reacting that way. They also have their addictions, but I guess they're not as dedicated as I am. And I believe that this will be my future job. Gusto ko tong ginagawa ko, mahal ko tong ginagawa ko. And I am looking forward to be a teleserye writer, and I can visualize it. Ang dami ng concepts ko, and I believe, di naman sa pagyayabang, na I have what it takes to be one, I have the talent to be. Wala na akong pakialam kung magkakaroon ako ng competitors but to fulfill my dream, that is a big achievement for me!

Basta ako, hangga't alam ko wala akong ginagawang masama, ipagpapatuloy ko to. Hindi ko sinasamba ang mga teleserye. Maybe you have your own definitions of "samba" but I have my own criteria. Wala akong ipinagpapalit. Nagpopromote, nangongolekta, nanunuod, nagsusulat. Yan lang ang ginagawa ko sa buhay ko kasama ang mga teleserye, at wala ng iba. :)

Bigyan niyo na lang ako ng bagong HAPPINESS, o kaya sabihin niyo kay ano, PASAYAHIN niya ko, baka madivert pa attention ko, but I don't think not. Ahaha. :)

By the way, kung nakikita mo to sa blogspot, makikita mo rin to sa tumblr. At kung makikita mo to sa tumblr, makikita mo din to sa blogspot, at kung saan ka man mapadpad, nasa Facebook Notes ko to. If ever, ngayon lang ulit ako magpopost sa FB Notes, para madami makabasa ng sentiments ko. Nyahaha. :)

-->PIPAY♥ 2/17/12 11:49PM

Chapter 2 of 12.

Page 48 of 366.

"HAPPINESS"

Right or Wrong?

May nasabi ako.

Hindi ko talaga alam kung tama o mali.

Alam ko para rin yun sa own good ng friends ko, di ko naman intention na magmukhang masama yung isa, pero loyal ako sa isa. Di rin naman kami masyadong close nung isa, pero hindi ko pa din alam.

Di naman sila mag-aaway pero still, the guilt that I felt was extremely bothering me. :') Nakakaloka lang talaga.

As in ayoko silang mag-away, di lang dahil sa dawit ako, pero kasi siyempre diba pareho ko silang kaibigan. Kahit ba mas matimbang yung isa.

Maaring mali na nasabi ko yun sa friend kong close, kasi may clash, at parang binabackstab ko si new friend. At parang nagiging okay na sila.

Pero karapatan din naman ni friend kong close na malaman yun diba?

DI KO TALAGA ALAM. Sana lang walang gulo. :'(

-->PIPAY♥ 2/12/12 1:04 AM
Chapter 2 of 12.
Page 43 of 366.
"RIGHT OR WRONG?"

The Art of Letting Go.

Earlier, I thought of playing this old game that I became addicted before, The Sims 2. And na-adik na naman ako. Ang hirap i let go ng addiction. Most especially that it was a long time when I last played it.

Addiction is one thing we had a hard time letting go. Like nung addiction ko sa Magkaribal, I have the complete set of the DVDs and during my leisure time, I watch episodes na talagang tumatak sa akin! (the tahol scene of Gretchen Baretto! And of course, You Want War, I'll give you war scene!") Sabi nga ng friend ko, yun daw pala ang mahirap saken, that it's hard for me to let go. Parang sa love, napakahirap din I-LET GO. Sobra. :)


"Put away the pictures. 
Put away the memories. 
I put over and over 
Through my tears 
I've held them till I'm blind 
They kept my hope alive 
As if somehow that I'd keep you here 
Once you believe in a love forever more How do you leave it in a drawer?"

When you find out that the one you love isn't, and will never be in love with you, anong gagawin mo? Will you stay, or will you let go and move on? Ako. I did stay, that was almost a year. But of course, napapagod din naman ang heart. And finally, after how many months, natutunan ko din mag let go. Kahit man lang sa love. October 27 was the day (actually night). I did let go of my feelings, and I am on the final stage of moving on. October 28, the almost 3500 messages, they're gone, well except for 181 (pampakilig)! And earlier, the 20 peso bill, na malutong pa ha, pinanload ko na. Imagine, I was able to keep that 20 peso bill on my wallet for 5 months! I'm not even tempted na gastusin yun! And now. HAHA. Na kay ateng nagloload na! :))

"Now here it comes, the hardest part of all 
Unchain my heart that's holding on 
How do I start to live my life alone? 
Guess I'm just learning, 
Learning the art of letting go..."


Yes, masakit din naman siya, when one day you finally realized na hinding hindi naman mangyayari yun. Well as I said in my previous entries (check that May 2011) I'm not expecting na mapupunta dun, although siyempre may part sa akin na gusto ko. Pero diba, ako kasi I am very open-minded, and I know the realities of life. :) But then it hurts, lalo na pag dati, pag nagmomove on ako, shit, PARAMDAM NA NAMAN! :) But now, parang ganun din eh, nagpaparamdam, pero you know, kasi dati pag andito na ko sa stage na to, tas biglang ganun na naman, Back to Zero, pero this time, hindi talaga! :)


"Try to say it's over 
Say the word goodbye. 
But each time it catches in my throat 
Your still here in me 
And I can't set you free 
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Maybe someday we'll be friend's forever more 
Wish I could open up that door..."


Oh yeah right, sabi ng madami kong friends, "WOOO, BABALIK DIN YAN!" hahaha. Well, siyempre may factor na gusto kong bumalik, pero honestly ngayon, konti na lang na percentage. As in parang I feel na, I'm stronger now, kaya ko na 'to. Kasi diba, nabuhay naman ako noon nung wala pa siya, why not now? HAHA! Eh yun nga kasi eh, dumating sa buhay mo diba! But now I am sure. I CAN DO IT.


Maybe now, I learned the Art of Letting Go, kasi nakakatiis na ako. Nakakayanan ko na unlike before where I would end up NEARLY CRYING. Nearly lang ah, NEVER AKO IIYAK SA GANYAN! :)


Basta ako, I'll just go with the flow of life. Malay naten, maiba ihip ng hangin. HAHA! Goodluck naman. :)


So, that's it. Thank you sa song ni Jennylyn Mercado or Mikaila. Sino ba original sa inyo? HAHA.


I love you followers! Nakita ko naka 64 views ang page ko kahapon, at sobrang achievement yun dahil lumagpas sa 40! :))


-->JIMPY♥ 10/29/11 11:50PM

Focus: Positivity

I am really really crazy. HAHA. I am not supposed to be blogging about this, but then, there's an urge of releasing what I really feel. Yes I need to, because if I don't, I will be always bothered, anxious, or whatever, and I don't want sudden anxiety attacks, puh-lease.


Well, here's the thing. I can really sense that one of my closest friends did back stab me. I am really not sure, but I know there is something between the two of us, there is tension. I just don;t want to elaborate about the story, but if that someone will be reading this, well then, I just want to say that, there is really that hard feeling, because I never thought that that's the way you think of me. We have known each other for a long time, and I can really say that you have really changed. I don't know why, but I don't want to just throw our friendship out of the door. And I do hope that you don't forget the super friends you have, and that's us, because we have the bigger part of your life. :') but of course as your super duper as in to the highest level friend, I still do love you of course, and I want us to rekindle the old friendship we had, and if possible, practice that. And I know that you are like "natamaan" with my words, I just thought that, if you are paranoid, you really did something for me to be like this. Well I just want to clear out that it is not you, so stop it.


And then there's this person I am irritated with. This person is like soooo craaaazy. I don't know ha, but if he/she thinks that I should not be above his/her standing, well then the floor is his/hers. I don't need that, I don't need legacy, I don't need to outshine or what, what I need is just to do my thing.


I am really tired of being bullied. I know sometimes I do hurt others feelings because of my so-called "katarayan" or "pang-o-okray", but of course I do have my limitations, I instantly say sorry, and I don't do the same thing over and over again (that's what I think about myself ha). But there is this one guy, I am really getting sick and tired of his f*cking attitude. If he is not capable of understanding other's feelings, then better shut his mouth. Or why not insult himself, well, based on the looks (i'm sorry) and the attitude, he should be the one insulted! :)


But then, I do need to get rid of the pessimism that I am bringing. I don't want to die at this age, and I don't want burdens anymore. I just want now to focus on my studies. I maybe in love, but I am not in a relationship (and as if I will be) and of course, I just want to focus with all the positive vibes Dear God is giving me. :)


Gone the days where I always put my self into negativity and pessimism. Optimistic, happy and positive days should start now. :)


Nasaan Ka, Elisa? This Monday after My Binondo Girl! :))

Crushniversary. :">

September 2, 2010... 

I sent GMs to some of my friends...That line on my GM came from KC's line on Simply KC. Then suddenly, two of you replied. And honestly, I focused on texting you alone. I want to test my feelings. If I am really crushing on you or you're just cute! :">

Well...to refresh your mind, we knew each other before but we don't know each other personally. And then this school activity came. Of course, all of us became closer. After that school activity, we kept in touch, which was really good. But I never thought I will ever ever have a crush on you! :))

Then this afternoon came, we saw each other by chance, we talked for a while, and I slapped you. I forgot why. Haha. Then we said our goodbyes. After you go, my best friend asked me that maybe I have a crush on you. WELL EXCUSE ME, HELL NO. You're not my type (at that time) and I just came from a heartbreak, and I was crushing a Second Year student! HAHA. :)) But then that question struck me. (MAGTATAGALOG NAKO, Para mas madamdamin! HAHA) Napaisip ako. Paano nga kaya kung crush kita. :) HAHA.

 Then that day came, where you replied and we texted, then one day, I sent PMs to everybody. Yours was the longest...of course. :) But actually my message doesn't make sense. Then the following day...aba aba, you replied, SECRET NA LANG YUN. But that was the sweetest of all your messages, all 3104 messages as of today. :) Then afterwards, you constantly text me, good night, good night, good night, kahit hindi ka unlitext. :))

 Well, many things of course happened, but I won't elaborate more. Mahahalata! HAHA. :) But what I am just sure of, is that December 2010. I fell in love. But that feeling was the best and the worst. You became cold, I don't know why, maybe I was too obvious? And I was getting hurt every time you were cold. I also feel confused, because you were cold today, and we were fine and sweet tomorrow. Maybe I am just putting color in everything we do. But that's how love moves. :)

September 2, 2011... 

And now, it's a year since I am crushing on you. Many things have changed. Well, yes, I am still in love with you, but you know, there's always a hindrance. What I really want now, is for us to be best friends. You were few of the guys I really trust. And, I think, you never treated me like I don't belong, and you never showed disgust. That's what I love about you eh, you are so so kind! :) And yes, I am pretty sure I can easily get over with my feelings if we become best friends. :))

I really would like to thank you for being a good friend. I thank you for being so kind, understanding. And I hope, bawas bawasan mo pagiging cold! :) Nakakasira ng bait eh. :)) AND SANA, PAG NABASA MO TO, WAG MO NAMANG ISIPING IKAW TO HA. Scaaaary eh! HAHA! AYOKO NA KASING MAY MAGBAGO, OKAY? :)) See you, bestfriend. :)))) Happy Crushniversary! :">